I don't have anything new to share. I just need a place to vent. Figured I might be safe in my own space. I'm not looking for feedback. Just need to get it out.
I don't know what the hell is going on with me these days. I don't even know who I am. I can't stick to anything I start. I don't have any money. I can't find a job to save myself.
My housecleaning business is going down the toilet. I have lost my 2nd biggest client and my biggest client went from weekly to bi-weekly. My other client is very unreliable. Reschedules weekly. I think I should just drop him. But I need the money. These once in a blue mooners are ok. It's unexpected income.
No child support since June. Lost half of our food stamps.
My brother is STILL here. We got into a huge fight on Saturday. It came to blows. #makesmefeelgreat.
I am depressed and I don't know what to do to fix it. I can't afford my meds any longer and that's not helping matters.
I had my house super clean.... for the most part, it's hanging in there. But if I don't do something soon, it's going to fall apart again.
My brother is claiming that he is moving out mid-September. This would be a huge blessing. No, I won't miss the additional income. There never has been any. But I am not going to get my hopes up. Every time I have hope for something, it gets dashed.
With that being said, I am HOPEFUL that I get a phone call today telling me they have chosen ME for the pharmacy tech position. That would mean a paycheck.
I am throwing in the Celebrating Home towel. I love the products, but can't get bookings. My friends and family didn't even feel the need to support me at my Grand Opening party...which didn't happen, because out of 86 people invited, 2 said they would be there. 2 that would have bought from me, party or no party.
Team Beachbody and Ending the Trend is where my heart truly lies. It's where I spend most of my time. I still haven't any customers or coaches, but that won't last long.
I have a workout partner... but she drives me crazy. (Did I mention I started P90X last week?) I love it. Didn't get it done yesterday because I felt sicker than a dog, due to no meds. My brain felt totally detached from my skull and I felt woozie and queasy all day. I can't wait to get over it. I'm not going back on. I just can't afford it. I'm in search of free therapy. There has to be someone somewhere that can help me. I don't want to be on meds if I absolutely don't have to. Being a pharm tech, I've learned a thing or two about meds. #don't like 'em.
I went to go mow my yard this morning before it started raining. It was going great. Until the wheel BROKE off. Not just came off. BROKE OFF. I am now the proud owner of a 3 wheeled mower. I could barely get back into the garage. So now I have a partially mowed front yard. Looks fantastic.
So anyway. This week has already started off with a capital SUCK. I didn't even mention the freakin prayer controversy on SparkPeople. So effing retarded. I'm a horrible person for praying for someone. Got lots of hate mail, but then at the same time, got several new friend requests for speaking my mind. That was good.
And the other good thing is, I found out that my son's teachers are awesome. They're on the look out for him and his success. All of them, so far. I didn't get that last year... one teacher in particular. I was worried. I'm not gonna lie. So it was nice to have my mind put at ease.
I'm going to go try to do something to improve my day. Since I can't go shopping, I have to think of something brilliant.
Hope your week is SO much better than mine!